I have decided to finally begin journaling...

March 22, 2004 (Sunday)
3:28 AM

I have decided to finally begin journaling.

It has been a long time since I had longed for the day for a laptop computer so that I could lie in my bed, or for all practical manners, take it where ever I wanted to go and write.

Not only does this machine allow me to write, but I can surf the net, listen to music and watch DVD movies (without regard to what region the DVD belongs too). I think it is simply amazing that I can be doing this, with such a small size piece of equipment...

But now for the what I’m here for. Journaling, rather, chronicalling, making a record of the events of my life, which to me seem rather insignificant, but perhaps, like you see in the movies or read in books, someone long after me may come across this set of archaic electronic documents, decipher them and read about the life of an insignificant 24 year old Hispanic gay man ( at least at the present time, the age is accurate). Perhaps I should note that I was born December 18, 1979, just so that there is a reference to my age (who knows how long I’m going to keep up this journal thing anyway… I hope that it lasts a very long time).

My eyes are heavy because I have had a long day, usually I’m wide awake around this time. This is due in part to my work schedule. I’m a registered nurse in the state of TX, working night shift at The Methodist Hospital in Houston, TX. I work in their CV-recovery/ICU. I like it OK, I use to like it a lot more... now I’m starting to just see it as a job... and I’m clearly re-defining my desires to return to graduate school at the time.

Until recently I was thinking of going for CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetist), but March 17 of this same year (and not that long ago) was a definite turning point, or awakening, or epiphany or something that made me re-evaluate my motives and reasons. March 17 was the day Seth Rosenblatt, a 21 year old senior at Rice University whom I had met a few days back via gay.com found out he was HIV +. Though the news was devastating at the time, he has actually been coping with it remarkably well. I have to admit that I don’t know how I quite would react to such a news. Actually, since my trip to Vegas little over a month ago, I was living with the fear that I may have been exposed to HIV in Vegas. I go so dammned drunk Friday night that I returned to my hotel room with a stranger, male, with whom I have no idea what I did with. The following Monday when we were home, I went to the Montrose Clinic to be screened for STD’s. Though I had no s/s, I wanted to rule everything out. I had ironically also been suffering from some pretty bad anal itching, which recently, ( and I don’t know if it’s because of diet change, exercises or supplements I’m taking – vitamins, Probiotics) has gone away. I think it has to do with my new “watching what I eat” techinique.

Anyway, my eyes are getting very, very heavy.

Good Night